i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
