Soap is not a condiment
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
