I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
