A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
