Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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