I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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