My first STD was from a foam party
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
