the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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