do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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