I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
