I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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