Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
