Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
