Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
