This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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