he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
ttyl tear gas
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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