She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
