She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Drunk is not a location!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
