No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize