everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
