You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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