my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
