What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
