umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
