im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
