I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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