You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
