so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
