But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
