Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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