I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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