they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
