Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
