it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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