he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i black out too much to be "responsible"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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