And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
