question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
