at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
