I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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