ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
