Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
