No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
