just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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