i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
