i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
