Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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