U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
