I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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