No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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