They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
