belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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