I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
